AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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