hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
