420 ftw
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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