i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
