She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
