I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
two words: eviction party
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
