I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
