what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
