Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
