So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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