pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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