im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
