Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
