I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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