I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
