Jerry, you need to find god
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
