Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize