i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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