tell your sister to shave her snatch
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
