We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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