I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
