We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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