I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
