i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
