apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and she was petting her beer can
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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