he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
