I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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