Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
