At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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