i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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