I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize