I hate all girls vehemently.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
