only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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