I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
