I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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