When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
