Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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