Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
