after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
