I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
