He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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