What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize