i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
