So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
