i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
