She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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