I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
