I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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