now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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