i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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