were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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