You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
