I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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