I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize