Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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