hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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