Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
