at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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